you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He kissed a someone with a penis
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Found the puke drawer
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
