barbara walters just said penis...
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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