i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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