dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
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Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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