Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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