Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
