She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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