Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
