so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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