there's paper in my vomit.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
my liver is dry heaving
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize