I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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