You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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