So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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