If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
My cat gives me a boner
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
