When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
