Please, let me fuck your mom
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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