I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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