i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We need to get me chipped asap
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
