wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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