THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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