I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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