so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Randomize
