I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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