I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
