I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
