I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Randomize
