Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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