I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
