he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
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I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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