some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
