Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
