Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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