farters have to be the big spoon...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
