Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
