How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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