There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
