You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
