I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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