Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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