He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
i've created a new STD.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
