Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
