Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
