I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
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