This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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