i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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