I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
