Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
