I need help removing her.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
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