About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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