I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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