Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
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