I molested 6 butterflies tonight
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
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I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
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Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
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