mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
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Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
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Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize