if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
