yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
