so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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