i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
