I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Verdict: uncircumcised.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
