My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
