Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
