Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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