i wish my penis had a tongue
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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